Kseniia
Popil
Wife of a servicemember
Kseniia Popil’s husband, Oleksii, volunteered back in 2014 at the age of 23. He served in the National Guard and later in the Azov unit. They got married in 2018, and the entire story of their family has been inseparably tied to the war.
In 2020, Oleksii tried to return to civilian life, but lasted only three months — then went back to the military. Kseniia calculated that in 11 years of knowing each other, they had lived under the same roof for barely two or three years.
«Many people tell me: ‘It’s not normal — to live apart, to be without your husband.’ But I realized that for us, this is our version of normal,” she says. “I don’t know any other life with my husband, outside of war. But this is our life. We’ve gotten used to it. He believes that as long as the guys are in captivity, as long as there is war in the country, he cannot leave this shared cause. And I can’t go to him because I have a six-year-old child. So this is how we live.».
— And if the war lasts another 10 years?
— Then it will. He’s unlikely to leave the service.
— And you will accept that?
— It’s his choice.
In April 2022, Oleksii, along with other defenders of Azovstal, was taken captive. Wounded, he was carried out on a stretcher by his comrades. Kseniia believes it was the injury that helped him return sooner: due to a head injury, he lost his memory, and the Russians exchanged him after just two months.
At that time, Kseniia and their son were in the United Kingdom, so Oleksii was met after the exchange by his mother — also a servicemember of the Armed Forces of Ukraine. As soon as Kseniia learned of his return, she immediately came back.
The path to recovery was not easy. Oleksii returned from captivity having lost 30 kilograms. His memory gradually came back, but his hearing was affected — he still cannot tolerate loud noises. He does not talk to his wife about captivity — he protects her. Yet what he went through shows up in everyday life: there is a strict rule in their home not to throw away food. Their son, Sviatoslav, has adopted the same attitude.
When the boy doesn’t want to finish his meal, he says: “Mom, save it, I’ll eat it later. Because when dad was in captivity, they had nothing to eat.”
The son resembles his father in many ways: he isn’t afraid of explosions and is curious about extreme situations. In fact, Oleksii wanted to name him Arei, but Kseniia firmly said no. “I’ve had enough war,” she said at the time, “I don’t need the god of war running around in my house too.”
After several months of rehabilitation, Oleksii returned to service again — first to an officer support unit, and later back to his work in demining. Family life returned to its familiar online rhythm. Every day, Kseniia sends her husband “reports” from the home front: how their son is going to school, what funny hairstyle he has, how their cat Military amusingly stretches her paws. In return, Oleksii shares glimpses of his daily life: what kind of bedside table he built, how he fried potato pancakes or cooked borshch, what the sky looks like over the frontline town that day.
On the home front, Kseniia does not divide tasks into “men’s” and “women’s” work. She is used to carrying heavy suitcases, assembling furniture, and fixing the car herself. “Who else is going to do it?” she laughs.
Now, Kseniia dreams of going back to work to be among people. She is looking for something socially meaningful — she wants to help military personnel and their families. She also dreams of having a second child. Together with Sviatoslav, she regularly attends Free Azov rallies — to support those who are still waiting and to remind the world about the prisoners.
When the conversation turns to her husband’s future, a note of caution appears in Kseniia’s voice. But Oleksii himself thinks about it often. He says he almost every day imagines the day he leaves the army. How he will finally get his driver’s license. How he will grow a business. How they will go out into nature every week with tents and go fishing. And how they will finally have a home of their own.